Cell Phones Suck, We Know

I’m trying to find a new phone. My LG VX6000 is getting old. It’s interesting that everybody has picked up on the AP article about how cell phones are too complex, etc. etc. I’ve been saying that for a while. The guys over at 37signals have said it, too.

All I need is a phone. I don’t want a camera. I don’t want an MP3 player. Like, what is it with companies making everything a damn MP3 player? Like the Garmin GPS units they’re advertising now. I don’t want to listen to MP3s on my GPS. Seriously.

Anyhow, I digress. What I need is a good phone. It needs to have:

  • a very usable phone directory.
  • excellent reception — a cell signal magnet.
  • long freaking battery life and easily swapped/spared batteries.
  • an alarm clock.
  • T9 word support for text messages, that can learn new words.
  • a standard USB connection, using a standard cable.
  • if it’s a flip phone it needs to display the clock on the outside.

When I say “usable phone directory” I mean that I need to be able to save and manipulate numbers easily. I also want something that treats people as a single entity with multiple numbers. None of this one number per entry B.S. I also want to be able to hook the phone up to my PC and easily download the data to it using BitPIM or something standard.

Personally I don’t need data services, though I acknowledge a lot of people might. I don’t need to type email on my phone. I’m not going to maintain my schedule with it. I don’t want to search the web with it, play videos, or listen to music with it.

I want to make calls, write text messages, use it as a pocketwatch, and have it wake me up when I take impromptu naps.